When I hear the term leadership, so many different words come to mind. This one word elicits so many meanings, emotions and unstated responsibilities. Many people may be called but only a few are chosen, for true leadership is a complex term encompassing much more than just a mere title. True leadership is having a vision and drawing out the strengths of others to achieve a common goal.
Two years ago, I decided to take leadership to the next level when I ran for president of three nonprofits. I wanted to be the glue that brought and held my community together. Little did I know the amount of work, heartache, pain and success that would come over the next few years. After being chosen, I learned that leadership was more than I ever thought it would be, especially when trying to rally a group to a certain task, event or cause. How to deal with people quickly became one of the hardest things I’d ever learn.
I know how to plan an event. I know how to execute a successful effort. I know how to make sure people show up and unite behind one vision. What I didn’t know was how to delegate or deal with confrontation. Here are a few important lessons I learned as a result.
Lesson 1: Leaders delegate. Even if you can do it all, you should not do it all.
Leaders have to learn to build teams of people they trust to get the job done. These people may not be your friends or close acquaintances, but they bring skills to the table, and utilizing those skills makes the team better. Once you get a strong team, you won’t be afraid to delegate. Above all, be ready to accept and deal with confrontation. Leaders have to be able to effectively handle confrontation without bringing their feelings into it, just sticking to the facts. From someone who does everything with their whole heart, this was the hardest part of leadership to learn. It caused unneeded stress. I remember telling people I had to do it all, but those words came from places of hurt and disappointment. I would say, “I know I won’t fail myself.” But in reality, I wasn’t leading. I was just running myself into the ground. After I built a solid team, I felt more comfortable delegating, and it felt good to sit back and watch the masterpiece develop.
Lesson 2: Good leadership is about resilience.
While many people think resilience is your ability to withstand hard times, I believe resilience is how you come back after those hard times. Being a good leader requires a generous amount of self-reflection. You have to be able to identify your strengths and weaknesses and understand that they might change from day to day. Effective leadership is being there to fill in the gaps when others’ strength needs a little push. I’ve constantly told people that you can never be a good leader until you have experienced failure. That failure doesn’t define your leadership, but how you return from it tells everyone exactly what they need to know about you. That’s your leadership resilience.
Lesson 3: Leaders are allowed to have human moments.
When I took on a position of leadership, so many people told me how to talk, how to dress, how to speak, and how to feel. I couldn’t focus on the task at hand because I was too busy trying to be what everyone else thought I should be. I understand that leaders are held to different standards, but I also know that leaders hurt and cry solitary tears. Though exhausted, they may continue to push themselves for fear of letting others down, and they want to know that every voice is heard and people feel wanted and appreciated. But leaders need to know it’s OK to say no, it’s OK to remove yourself from an unhealthy organization, and it is OK to have all the human moments you need.
I am approaching the end of my tenure as president of those nonprofits I mentioned before. At first, this overwhelmed me with guilt. I felt I was letting people down. But then I re-evaluated my time in office and can clearly see that I am leaving these organizations better than when I began. That is the true testament of a leader. Take something and impact it so much that, once you are gone, the changes you created will last a lifetime. My guilt has been replaced with contentment, my stress has been turned into relief, and now I am ready to conquer the next chapter of my life.
Answer The Call to take care of those who have chosen to be leaders. Love them, pray for them, be honest with them, and above all, don’t focus on tearing them down but try with every interaction to build them up.
